Day -3... I mean Day -4

Wow I wish that I could skip right over day -4. What an exhausting and challenging day. If my mental and my physical weren't embodied I bet the two would be off hiding in their own happy places licking their wounds. What a day! There was the gruesome, the crying, the waiting, more crying, the beautiful princess (yes, I didn't escape the Nintendo generation and I still do think in princess terms) saving the day for the battered warrior, and finally the corn nuts and Blazer game with the family to rejuvenate the spirits.

The day started poorly, without a proper breakfast because surgery was on the menu. No eat or drink! But still no fuel for the day, great.I was taken early to surgery for the placement of my 'ommaya reservoir'.



http://www.answers.com/topic/ommaya-reservoir

The reservoir will considerably improve the ease and the overall time it takes the doctors to perform lumbar punctures (spinal taps). The majority of my morning/early afternoon was spent waiting in prep/recovery for this minor surgery.

As I returned to my room the emotions of everything hit me very hard. I had no one there with me, I was starving with lunch already passed, I had a newly carved wound on the top of my head. I was just feeling pretty useless and grotesque. I cried a lot. These moments are critical - you have to let it out. Don't be afraid to feel what you need to feel. Shortly after I returned to my room Karlin had just gotten off work and she could tell I was in bad shape so she came right away <3. It's been a blessing to be so close now. The crying continued but there was much consoling as well. I had a hard time looking at her because I felt like such a freak with the cut on my head. I've learned that Karlin's ability to comfort and care for me are things that I cherish the most in this world. Not to mention her constant encouragement.

ok. so here are gruesome photos.





After the reservoir was placed I was informed that shortly I would be transferred to radiation oncology for a treatment simulation. This was good news because it meant that they had a lead on what has been causing my left-arm pain and loss of mobiliity. But it also meant that little to scarf,scarf, and scarf. I wolfed down two bowls of rice krispies, one and a half cups of yogurt, and 5 packages of graham crackers. yummm.

The simulation went well and they actually began the real treatments the very same night at about 7 p.m. There is optimism finally!! I was greeted by my family following the treatments which was oh so nice. Couldn't have been happier to see them. We got to watch the Blazer game (even though they lost) and I ate a load of corn nuts. The night was capped off with a BIG family hug and prayer. A great end to helluva day, Whew!